Cheerleading Team Stunned to Find Out Wrestling Harder Than Cheerleading

by Patterson Kane, staff writer, “Not-So-News News” Satire

When the Belvedere High School wrestling program held a “Try Wrestling” day, wrestler Attie Wolfe decided to invite the cheerleading squad. “I overheard them in the cafeteria talking about how hard cheerleading practice is,” said Wolfe, “so I dared them to come to ‘Try Wrestling.’”

“How hard can it be?” one cheerleader told her. “I mean, you’re lying down on the mats most of practice.”

Wolfe said one cheerleader challenged her to a match. “I told her that wasn’t a good idea, but she insisted,” said the Belvedere 138-pounder. “I agreed, but said only if the cheerleading squad would come do their thing at one of our duals. She said only if I beat her. Well, that got me a little riled up.”

Wolfe didn’t tell her there was such a thing as a technical fall. The final score was 57-0.

“I can’t believe how much it messed up my hair,” said cheer captain Brittany Starr. “I think it was a good bonding experience for our team.”

When asked if she wanted the girls’ wrestling team to come try cheerleading, Starr said, “I don’t think any of us want to see that.”